Eloise is now 10 months old and every day she is doing something new and awesome. Of course like any caring parents, her mother and I think she is beautiful and are very thankful for her health. She recently started showing more emotion and has even developed an expression that screams “give me that back” and/or “you better pay attention to me or else”. Based on the first 10 months, I never thought I would see anything but a smile…..
It would be hard to count how many times people have said “She is going to have you wrapped around her little finger”. This is always meant to be a compliment because they see us together and either they have been in the same position, and/or they just look at her smiling and think….. man, he does not know what is coming. I am never offended by the comment because it is meant to be a genuine compliment. However, after hearing it enough, and picking it apart, I have come to the conclusion that it is exactly what I don’t want to happen.
So where is the thread about Leadership in this message?……..The analogy is that if/when people let others have too much control over them, it usually ends bad for both sides, and never proves to be a long-term winning strategy. Leadership is about influence, and the ability to motivate others to want to do something, rather than feeling that they have to. In situations where a person constantly feels dominated, it usually ends in complete failure. This can go both ways, and usually both parties are at fault, but in some cases the blame can only rest with the person that has seniority or that is in the leadership role, because they should not let it happen. When we let someone in business have us “wrapped around their finger”, it usually ends in a break up because the relationship is too one-sided and has reached the point of being irreversible. The same applies when the leverage of roles is reversed. When people or businesses take extreme advantage of one another, it usually ends bad for both parties.
I don’t want this to happen in my parenting. I don’t want to give her more than what she needs; I don’t want to allow her to do things she should not be allowed to do; and most of all, I don’t want to take away her independence by spoiling her. I know the work will be cut out for me, because I am already getting the smiles and she is starting to bat her eyes. What she will have wrapped around her finger is my love – this part is true.
Now……I am sure many of you are sending me direct emails/text messages to bet against me/my ignorance, and I agree that the odds are in your favor. There is no hiding the fact that I remain an amateur in regards to parenting. However, I am going to fight a good fight because I believe I owe it to her. I owe her everything I can do to make sure she is prepared to take care of herself and be a productive member of society.
The jury will be out for quite a while on her having me wrapped around her finger:)